As I sit here at my comp nomming away at my Senor Guapo sandwich from Butterhead Greens, I ponder about the strange things that enter my mind and ultimately make bizzare sense to me. The weirdest phobias and thoughts will trigger the most insane and illogical solutions and ideas, but as I mentioned before, to me; they make sense:

I am poor at communication and have acute claustrophobia. I’m often like a babbling idiot if caught off guard, eye contact is difficult, and I generally slur my words and say stupid things. I just do, I don’t mean to, I just freakin do. This is affecting a recent project for Survey of Games class, where networking is the assignment. I am terrified of talking to people out of the blue, I have no idea how conversations get started, and getting involved is a trying task for me. I’m succeeding in the assignment, but long story short; I’ve had a few issues. I just need to get better at talking to people.

The messed-up solution: Piss in urinals. Yeah.

For the longest time I’ve just gone in a stall, seemed convenient and better yet; private. I wasn’t afraid of someone getting too friendly at a urinal, because people just don’t do that. I just preferred the privacy of a door behind me. No one’s ever said anything to me about it, so what did I care? Dumb. All it’s done is given me a false sense of security. I built a stall around myself in everyday life. Everything that is uncomfortable made me place an invisable weak-latched door behind me so I feel like it’s just me and my johnson. The truth is, who the hell pisses in stalls!? Anti-social people, that’s who! No one else! Unless the urinals are taken and you really have to go. But in general, no one friggin does that! I’m not saying that I’m gonna go and have a chat with the next dude who pulls up next to me at the yellow river express, I’m just saying there’s a line of comfort that needs to be crossed, and stalls just dont do that.

Truth: there is no stall, only freedom. The freedom of an exposed backside while relieving one’s self is like a whole new life; getting over that new awkward feeling is step 1 in being a more social being. So, ever since that enlightenment, no stall shall be my downfall, only the urnial of truth shall guide me.

I told you these were weird.

Lastly, today I noticed a couple things that I realize only happen to me, and they happen all the damn time:

1) When I manage to get to talking to someone, there’s a good chance that their phone will start ringing.

It’s really goddamn obnoxious how often this happens to me. The only way to make a conversation more awkward with me is to have to watch me keep myself busy while you’re on the phone with someone. Often enough, the phone hangs up and the conversation has already expired. What are the odds of it happening? I want to assume low, but it’s happened to me 10 or 11 times this school year already.

2) The professor asks a question. I raise my mitt. They call on me. I begin to speak, but someone else blurts out half the answer then immediatly quiets down. The professor exclaims “I called on Danger. Now, what were you saying?”

Now, for whatever reason, I feel like I’m inconveniencing the jackass who coughed up the answer before I could speak, thus my prior enthusiasm fades and I end up repeating what they said in more detail. Dammit, this is school! Raise your damn hand! Also, don’t rely on me to answer everything! Yes the professor asks some incredibly simple questions, don’t make me answer them all so we don’t look like retards because NO ONE ELSE WANTS TO RAISE THEIR DAMN HAND AND EXPLAIN EXACTLY WHATS WRITTEN ON THE BOARD! IT’S LITERALLY-ON-THE-BOARD!!!

3) When I order food, there’s a fair chance my order will get lost in the abyss of space, and I’ll be waiting on nothing with no warning.

I’m extremely patient. I’ll wait hours for something or someone if it comes down to it. It’s a redeeming quality, in my opinion. But it sometimes blows up in my face, like in this situation. Naturally, I do eventually ask what happened to my chicken sammich if a bullshit amount of time has passed, but it has to be a BULLSHIT amount of time. The abundance of this occurance is alarming to me. I know I tend to be a fly-on-the-wall about 90% of the time, but now I just feel unimportant. People tread on me like a doormat on occasion, I don’t mind, but I’m sometimes mentally offended when I’m flat out ignored, especially when there’s dozens around me getting the “fair treatment”. That shit hurts.

Anyway, that’s my thoughts and feelings of the day.

Love,

…

♫♪♫♪♫… ♫♪♫♪♫…  hello? Oh hey! Yeah, no, I’m just blogging. Haha! No way! Aww man! That’s wild! Are they okay? Hahaha! Aaahh, that’s so messed up! Alright, dude, talk to you later, okay. Alright. Take care.

Sorry about that.

-Danger